I have a soul, who knew?

This whole week has just been so weird. Sometimes I forget that Mme Jolene is gone for good, and then I get reminded and I think of her boys and I just feel so sad.

Today, we had a memorial\funeral\Celebration of Life\thing. My dear God was that ever sad.

I actually cried. At first it was just my eyes tearing up, then my nose was running, then my throat burned, then everything all at once, and then finally I sobbed.

When I first heard that Mme had died (Sunday), I didn't think that I was gonna be able to cry. I just proved myself wrong.

It was a beautiful ceremony-thing though. We had someone playing the piano the whole time and there were a few speeches and every class from grade 4 up made some sort of gift to give to the family (who were all there).

The last gift was the name plaque from Mme's classroom door. Then her mother started bawling, along with half the students in the room, me included (although I wasn't really bawling by that point).

Then a student who was really close to Mme sang a song he wrote, cue more crying.

The classes all left one by one. Most of the students crossed by the front of the stage and went to hug Mme's mother. Then one of my [male] friends burst out crying, very loudly. Something I've never seen him do before. And then another one of my friends, who I had never seen cry before, was crying and the look on his face was just so sad. That's when I started bawling.

I cried because Mme was gone and she wasn't coming back, I cried for her two boys because they'd never get to know their mother like we did, and I cried for everyone else, because of what we lost.

I hope to God that, after the funeral on Saturday, me and my friends will never have to cry like that for a while.