And it still sucks

Just watched a review for the Dragonball Evolution movie (I'm still pissed about it), so I thought I'd take this opportunity to point out what was wrong with it (I'm bored). I only watched the movie once, a couple of months ago, so I don't remember everything that happened, or in what order they happened in.

Let's get started! (rubs hands together)

-They didn't even make it past the intro without screwing it up. I grew up with Dragonball Z, so I don't know much about Dragonball (I saw a few episodes and read the manga, once) so that part about the eclipse and the Earth almost being destroyed may or may not have been true, I'm thinking no.

For one thing, King Piccolo was created when Kami forced all the evil out of his body so that he could become Earth's guardian. And I don't remember what Piccolo did to get trapped in that jar-thing-whatever-it's-called. Whatever.

Eclipse aside, the intro also mentioned that Oozaru was Piccolo's disciple. I know that that's not true. Oozaru, for those who don't know, is the form Saiyans take when they gaze at the full moon. The big monkey thing (Gohan did it, several times. That's why Piccolo destroyed the moon in DBZ.). As far as I know, Piccolo had never had contact with the Saiyans, ever.

I can't remember anything from the intro after that.

-Why is Grandpa Gohan still alive? In both the DB manga and anime, he's dead. We never see him because he died before the series started (Goku turned Oozaru and accidentally stepped on him). If they were gonna put Gohan in the movie, I suppose they could start it before he died, to explain what happened to him. Of course, they didn't do that. In the movie, Gohan is killed by Piccolo (FAIL).

-How old is Goku in this movie? 17/18. When the DB series began (even after Gohan was dead) Goku was 12 and looked like he was 5.

-Goku attends high school. What. The. Fuck.

-Come to think of it, they practically killed Goku's character in this movie. First off, we notice that Goku's more interested in girls than in fighting. Throughout the whole DB/DBZ series, Goku was always more interested in fighting, it's in his blood. He loved his family, but he loved the fight more. Also, anyone who's seen the original DB series knows that when we first meet Goku, he can't tell the difference between males and females without checking the crotch area, and he didn't know what a wife was until he was about 20 or so.

-Puar, Oolong, Krillen, Ubaba, The Ox King, and many others are missing from this movie.

-Master Roshi does not live on an island. He is not bald and not wearing sunglasses or a turtle shell. That and the city we find him in looks nothing like West City.

-Bulma's capsule bike is more like a Transformer.

-What the hell did they do to Yamcha? In the series, he's a desert bandit who knows a fair bit about martial arts, and he's deathly afraid of women. In the movie he looks like a doped up surfer dude, who seems to have no problem whatsoever with Bulma.

-Mai does not look like herself. In the movie she's working for Piccolo, when she's really supposed to be working for Pilaf. Pilaf and the dog are missing from this movie.

-I don't like Chichi in this movie.

-What did they do to the Kamehameha? Master Roshi teaches Goku to use it by getting him to light candles with it. In the series, Roshi didn't teach it to Goku, he told him about it and Goku did it on his own. Also, the first time Goku did the Kamehameha, he knocked over a car.

-You can't use the Kamehameha to restore someone's life force thing, whatever. Like in the movie when Goku got shot (...) and almost died. There's a way to transfer energy, but not with the Kamehameha (remember Goku and Krillen near the end of the Saiyan Saga in DBZ).

-Goku and Chichi making out. It's pretty easy to assume that Goku did not know the meaning of making out until sometime during the time lapse between DB and DBZ.

-They ruined Shenron, completely. He doesn't talk in the movie (or maybe he does, I don't really remember), also since when was he yellow and stumpy. That was not Shenron, I don't care what they call him.

-This is just nitpicking, but aren't the Dragonballs bigger than how they were in the movie.

-The lava scene with Piccolo's blood spawn. What the fuck was that all about.

Anyway, that's all I can remember now. I refuse to go back and watch that movie again. Ever. Hated it. There should be a law about live action adaptations for anime.