#1: Y'know what, Mom? No one in this house drinks beer. In fact, out of the five people living here, you're the only one that drinks alcohol period (excluding beer). The only people that drink beer in this house are your friends who come visit. Know what else? Beer is expensive. So before you start complaining about me 'wasting' money on books (which, although they start with the same letter, is completely different from beer), howzabout you stop buying beer, eh? I do not waste money on books, I buy books and then I read them (sometimes even more than once). You, on the other hand, waste money buying beer that you don't even drink! How about making your friends bring their own goddamn beer over before buying it yourself and then complaining about how we're always tight on cash.
#2: On another note, Mom, I don't like most of your friends. Oh some of them are alright, and I'm quite fond of them, but the others get on my last nerve. And never mind asking me why I don't like them, I just don't. There's no law that says that I have to wait for them to do something to me for me not to like them. Well, actually Louie and Dave already got the jump on that, so they can go fuck off, and I will tell that to them the next time they annoy me. You can tell them that even though I'm not as old as they are, they have no right to make me feel like I'm a fucking toddler. Or wait, know what? I'll tell them. Yup, I'll save you the trouble of doing it since you seem to find it all so amusing. Har har.
#3: And since we're on the subject of friends, leave mine alone. I'm well aware that you dislike my friends, the few of them that there are, you tell me that a lot... and you have for years. It's true that I don't like most of your friends, but I don't bring it up at random and tell you to hang out with other people. And you know the other people you always kept telling me to hang out with? I think that most of them are assholes, I'm of the opinion that they aren't very nice people. I grew up with these people in school, I know how they are, and I don't like them. I did manage to make a few friends in school, and I liked them, although you didn't. So what if they smoked, drank, cursed a lot and had (GASP!) sex? I didn't do those things and they never tried to get me to do those things, frankly it never really came up.
#4: You know my 'cousin' right? I'm sure you do. You probably hate her just as much as I do. She bullied me for the longest time when we were growing up, she bullies her parents, she was (and still is really) a tremendous bitch, and pretty much my complete and total opposite. You agree on all these points. So why, when I get angry, do you insist on telling me that I am exactly like her?! Do you think that amuses me or something? Do you think I enjoy it? No I don't fucking enjoy it! I'm human, Mom! And, even as emotionally crippled as I am, I get angry! You know what happens when I get angry? I become irritable to the people around me and I shout and I vent and I curse at people! That does that somehow sound strange to you? Because it sounds pretty normal to me. Sure, call me an asshole or whatever, but don't tell me that I act like her for fuck sakes! I do not act like her, I can't even pretend to act like her (and I've tried, can't do it)! You even tell me that I act like her when I'm just being disagreeable! I mean, good God woman! What, am I not allowed to express any emotion other than happiness, or something? Why? My brothers get to. They get to get angry and shout and yell and all that fanfare and they never hear "You're acting exactly like ['cousin']". And they do it more often than I do and they do mostly the same things as I do (with the exception of the arm flapping). What, do they get special passes just because they're younger or something? It's only a three year age gap!
#5: I like manga. Big fucking deal. I really don't see why this is such a problem for you, or such a shock. I've loved reading since I was 4, and I read a lot of Archie comics growing up, and I watched Dragonball Z almost religiously since I was about 3 until I was about 12. Sure, most of the manga topics are more mature than what you'd find in an Archie comic, but you can't tell me that you thought all the novels I've read over the years were full of bright, smiley, happy people. I read Goosebumps and Fear Street growing up after all, and they certainly contain questionable content for young children. I mean, I own a giant book about Jack the Ripper, which details a very messed up chain of events, and you get worried about what I'm 'picking up' in manga, like I'm some kind of impressionable kindergartner. And don't keep asking me why I like manga, I like manga because I like to read. Remember, all it is (to me anyway) is just another kind of book. The only reason you really seem to question it is because it's from Japan, since you've never questioned my Archies or my Artemis Fowl graphic novels.
#6: Stop saying that everything related to Japan is all about InuYasha, or no wait, InuWasha. It's gotten to the point where InuYasha has become an insult to me. My Taiwanese music plays in the car, it's 'InuWasha' music, even though it's not even from the same country. I don't want to go to church so you (and Dad) tell me to pretend that the priest is speaking in 'InuWasha' language, which makes no fucking sense. I watch anime in the living room, you ask me if I'm watching my 'InuWasha' again. What the fuck is it with InuYasha that's so bad?! Even some of the kids at school did this, pronouncing it the same exact way too (because the letter Y makes the W sound now, I guess)! Just, why? I know I got really into it when I first heard about it when I was 12/13, but come on! I wasn't obsessed with it (no matter what my 'cousin' keeps saying)! It was the first anime I discovered that was directed to teenagers, why wouldn't I be excited? But now I'm ashamed to even say I like it! It's become something that I think I shouldn't be doing! And that's just pathetic because it's a good series and I do like it! But I'm practically afraid to even look at something InuYasha related for fear of being insulted about it! That doesn't even make sense! Out of the dozens of manga series I read, everyone has to focus on that one series and start up with every time I even mention something loosely related to it.
1 comment:
very funny
Post a Comment