It was sunny and warm out this morning so Mom made me go outside to work on a tan I really need (seriously, I am ghost-pale). I wasn't even outside for a half-hour and I managed to get four bug bites. I don't know how I do it sometimes. I even got one on my toe! Who the hell gets a bite on their toe?!
Anyway...
I was talking to my mom about how I didn't like some of her friends (like the one who feels it necessary to scold me like a five-year-old child when I curse, even though his little twit probably curses more than me and looks and acts like a five-year-old). We eventually got on the topic of people writing me off because I watch anime.
I know that no one's said it to my face in a while, but it still annoys the fuck out of me. I think it's only certain people that do it, but they used to bring it up randomly and ask me how I can watch stuff like that. I never know what to answer them because I don't even get why they're asking. The best thing I can come up with is that I watch anime for the same reason that you watch the shows you watch: because I enjoy it.
I suppose it could be because the only anime most of these people know of is Pokémon, Digimon, Dragonball Z and Sailor Moon, and maybe InuYasha. Now, all those anime series (except InuYasha) is directed at children. The people who criticize me for watching anime all watched these shows when they were children, so I can see that they would view them as childish. What they don't know, however, is that there are other anime series that are directed to people of our age and older. I own a manga of Godchild, I should bring it to school and show it to them, see what they think.
Another topic me and Mom got to talking about was my standing on the school yearbook committee, and the meeting we had on Thursday. All I can say about that meeting is that it was beyond frustrating.
The thing about my school is that it goes from Pre-K to grade 12. I don't know whose bright idea it was, but someone decided to make the yearbook committee in charge of only the high school section and someone else would do the elementary section. Personally, I always thought it was a bad idea but, whatever, it's out of my hands.
Another thing is that the president of the committee once attended the other high school in the area and she's using that school's yearbook as an idea of what our yearbook should look like. What she doesn't understand, I don't think, is that the other school is a high school only, our school is a preschool, elementary school and high school all in one. We can't do the same things that they did.
Having considered this, I mentioned, in an earlier meeting (probably the first or second one) that we should get together with whoever was in charge of the elementary section. That idea was quickly shot down by one of the two higher ups without any consideration or thought. This was the last time I put any input into the meetings.
On Thursday, we finally got together with the people who were doing the elementary section. And an argument broke out over the organization of the pages. Apparently, we didn't accord enough pages to the elementary kids (for the record, I was not against this observation). What followed was the president and the vice-president argued with the elementary representatives while the rest of the yearbook committee (including me) watched in silence.
And then someone mentioned that we should've had a meeting with them earlier. That's when I banged my head down on the table.
And then another argument broke out between me and the vice-president, or the president, or both, can't really remember. Anyway, I had made a remark that was unjustified (but not totally, I had had a point somewhere) and I got yelled at for not voicing my opinion more often.
Well fuck me! And excuse me for not wasting my time and breath by saying things that would neither be considered or fully heard. And at the end of the meeting, I got yelled at. I know I had it coming, because my remark was either uncalled for or didn't come out right, but I wasn't as in the wrong as they thought I was and it still made me angry.
I'm still angry about it even now. I am about thisclose to dropping out of the committee. I almost dropped out when I found out who was going to be president. But I stayed because, and I admitted this reluctantly, I thought that she was a person who could get things done. But, as I found out on Thursday, she could only get things done if they were her ideas or if they were done her way.
And today, I decided something. I'm not known for being assertive or loud, but I was once told, during my Pathfinder days, that I was the only one brave enough to stand up to the leader. I realise now that, if I'm gonna keep my sanity during this project, I'm gonna have to bring that bravery out again and stand up to these people. And I'm gonna start doing it, very loudly.
They don't need to use my ideas, and they don't have to like them, but we're a committee and I expect my ideas and opinions to be heard and considered. I demand to be heard, and I'm gonna be heard, even if I have to scream and curse, and if that's what it's gonna take, then so be it.
I will be heard.
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